Hello-is this thing on?

Ok- I think that maybe all my dear readers misunderstood this post.
I am GIVING AWAY dinner.
To TWO people.
And the 2 people were going to be random comments to the above mentioned post.
It won't work unless I get comments!
So please, help me feel a little bit better ...
Please?
Just tell me that you are doing something for someone else, you don't have to tell me what you are doing, or who you are doing it for. Just say your in.
Please?

Perspective

There have been a few experiences this last year that have changed my perspecitve, and left a mark on my heart.
They have made me evaluate my attitude and my relationships with my kids and Jay.
In particular were the weeks after Mitchell passed away.
I thought so much about my children.
Especially when they were tired, hungry and cranky.
Crying, bickering inconsolable.
I thought, be grateful for them.
Be grateful for all of this. It is a gift.
What would his mother do, for one day back with him.

After reading so much about Nienie's accident I have thought over and over again about myself, and not being able to do things for my own kids.
I read this today, and it perfectly summed it all up.
Beautifully written. Thank you.

Nie Nie day dinner give away

Since last weekend I have been consumed with thoughts about this family.
About her, about her husband and their children.
I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know her, I have never met her.
But, I had read a little on her blog, and some on her sisters blog.
She seems like somebody I would want to be friends with.
I have read all over the place about the incredible auctions that are going on today to benefit her and her family.

I wanted to do something.
But what to do.
I woke up this morning knowing what I could do.
I can cook.
I can give food away.
I would feel funny trying to auction off my food.
So instead of bidding- do something for someone else. Maybe that will lighten someone's load, who will in turn lighten somebody else's load, and you never know, that person may lighten the load of somebody who is helping this family right now.

Comment- let me know that you plan on helping someone.
Think about it, pray about it.
Find somebody that needs something that you can do.
Don't let thoughts of what you can't do keep you from doing something.
You can do something.

I will pick 2 random winners for dinner. Probably this-
And if you live far away-hmmm say farther than 30 minutes from me- I will have to come up with something else for you!
(this contest closes on sunday night August 31)

what to eat Wednesday is back!

After taking a summer break I share with you one of our favorite things as of late.

Take this

do this

and drink this!


My kids have informed me that if I ever want to work at Jamba Juice, they are sure I could get a job!
Thanks!

SPT-citius, altius, fortius [faster, higher, stronger]

Wow-
loved watching the Olympics
Loved the discussions that it brought up here in our home.
We talked about finishing strong -about how that made all the difference in winning.
We talked about not giving up- how some of the athletes were not able to qualify for things last year, and look at them now, winning gold.

When we were in Colorado earlier this month I had my SPT all ready to go-
the theme for this month:

citius, altius, fortius

[faster, higher, stronger]
These three words encourage the athlete to give his or her best during competition, and to view this effort as a victory in itself.

We went to the Olympic training village in Colorado Springs.


It was a little empty- see the sign? Only a few days left until the Olympics start. Everyone was gone!
I think its so interesting that the training center is at such a high altitude.


I absolutely love Colorado Springs-
I love the mountains. I love the feelings that well up in me whenever we go back.
Remembering my move by myself from Oklahoma to Colorado-
Driving from the plains to a higher elevation.
Seeing the mountains for the first time.
Thinking I was going to be heading into a storm.
Then realizing no- that is not a storm.
Driving and trying to look out the window at the same time.
The overwhelming feeling when I see the mountains.
I am reminded of how lonely I felt at first, but how it made me stronger. In every way.
Such a defining time of my life.
And since this month has gone faster than I expected- this was my only SPT for the month!

Here is what other people thought of for their SPT's

playlist of my life

Jay loaded Pandora Radio (New Order Radio) for me and I am in music heaven.
There have been only 2 songs I don't care for.
Seriously.
There is a thumbs up or a thumbs down, to click if you like, or don't like a song. If I don't like it and I hit the thumbs down, a cute little message pops up and says:
Sorry, we won't every play that on this station again.
How often when I am sitting down at the pool or driving and an annoying song comes on I just wish I could skip it.
It just makes me so happy!
It totally dates me. But then again, it doesn't ... in the last hour I have heard so many varied artists and some are new. Some of the songs I have never heard before.

These are a few of the artists that have made me smile today- and I mean seriously smile from the inside all the way out!

Tears for Fears
Erasure
Pet Shop Boys
Bryan Ferry
Morrissey
U2
Depeche Mode
Duran Duran
Billy Idol
The Cure
Smashing Pumpkins
Tears For Fears
New Order
OMD
The Psychedelic Furs
Echo & The Bunnymen
The Postal Service


Did I say I was in music heaven?
I am. Really I am.
My family is probably thrilled. Now they can have a little variety to the Mamma Mia soundtrack that I have listened to nonstop for the last month!

Again, music heaven I tell ya.

I totally have to limit myself tonight for my playlist of my life- I could go on and on-every song has a memory- oh the memories! I am so happy that I have so many happy ones!

I am listening to .... and I am ...

Erasure-Give a little Respect-I am in Highschool- driving to swim practice listening to it loud and then playing it over and over in my head while I swim.

Pet Shop Boys- Being Boring-I am in 8th grade reading the Diary of Ann Frank.

Pet Shop Boys- Opportunities (Lets Make Lots of Money) 1. Watching 2 of my older cousins dancing and thinking they were so cool and then trying to dance like they were
2. at the pool towards the end of the day watching the lifeguards and thinking they were so cool
3. a dance somewhere feeling so excited to dance to the song that reminded me of my cousins

oh- music heaven!

Mischief Monday

All of our kids have had their moments.
They all have their own "brand" of mischief.
Each one leaves their mark.
Some are funny.
Some are expensive.
Some make me stop in my tracks scared to think of what they will do next.

Last week as I was telling a story about Tucker, a friend asked if he was our most mischievous child.
I laughed quickly and said no.
But he can certainly hold his own. And I hope that's all he does!
This is not the category that I would urge him to beat his siblings in.

I had been planning on writing a few things today all along ... and then Tucker added another story to share this morning. Did he know I was writing about mischief?

Last week Tucker patted me and gave me this.

And I wondered where he got them.
So I asked him.
And he brought me this.

And I realized that he had taken apart the back door.


This morning as I was answering one of those emails that asks all kinds of questions- I thought I better go check on Tucker. Anytime you have those feelings its a good idea. Just go check. You will be glad you did.
I walked into the kitchen and over towards the laundry-


and he was taking cupfuls of detergent and putting it in the bread machine


So he wants to scoop and dump. No problem. I got out some popcorn kernels thinking that would be a much better solution. I played with him for a bit, then went to finish the email and move some laundry.


I went back in knowing that surely there would be popcorn all over the floor.
Not hardly.
It was all back in the bread machine, with the detergent.

the bartender

Ok- my Iphoto is back up and running thanks to none other than my own personal, in house, mac genius.

I now can return to my regular blogging. Remember this?- I need my photos!

I can get so frustrated with technology and my inability to understand it all, or how to make it work.
But thankfully my mac genius can get things worked out- and he even has mad teaching skills so I can learn how to do it myself.
But most of the time, I just let him do it.

Over the last week he has been doing who knows what to the computer, and now it seems all is back in order with I photo library. Its better than before. Its organized!
There are photos and video we did not even know we had! Fun to look at.
(all but that 1 mysterious week those photos are just gone-to who knows where- my mom thinks that they are going to just show up on somebody's computer somewhere!)



Who needs apple and their genius bar when I have my own bartender here?

sunday morning

Right now I am listening to my Sunday Christmas playlist-Why?
Because I can.
And it makes me happy.
And I am hot.

Ready to blog about Disneyland

(the kids arranged their dinner the other night)

I have not been able to post about Disneyland-
Every time I start to write about it I am overwhelmed.
How to fit into a post all the wonder and amazement of that day?
My mom, and my mother in law have asked to see photos, and to read about the day.
Last week even Savanna mentioned that I needed to blog about our trip to the happiest place on earth.
Then she said "I think that we need to have Dad take all of us somewhere on a Saturday, and you stay home to write about Disneyland."
It made me smile.
She understood my need to have some down time to really tell our story of the day.
So now that the kids are back in school and we make up a new schedule of our days, with Tucker home in the morning and Luke and Tucker in the afternoon- I can create some down time.
And it will be so fun to have something so happy to write about as I miss Savanna and Jack!

1st day of school 2008

Its here!
The first day of school!
I always feel so apprehensive- and not ready to let go of summer.
But yesterday was so rainy and gray, it actually felt a little chilly in the evening. And thankfully it helped to get us all in the mood- because it actually felt like back to school time. It felt like fall!
I got out a yummy fall candle- put away the sea shells and sand and brought out my back to school stuff for the entryway. Then we had chowder for dinner! Not what I thought we would be having for dinner but it felt like the perfect thing to eat.

Everyone went to bed so excited, and I don't think any of the kids slept a full nights sleep from all the excitement.
Savanna was up before I went in, Jack was up happy as can be, and Luke woke up and we started saying the lines from Finding Nemo- "first day of school, its the first day of school!"
I kept my emotions in check all morning but had to hold my breathe as we started walking up to the school and Luke reached for my hand and said, "will you walk me to my class?"
We walked him to class first- no problem! He was happy as could be. His teacher this year just had a baby, so we are lucky enough to get one of our very favorite teachers who retired last year. She is taking the class until the regular teacher comes back. Savanna had her, and Jack had her last year. I can not tell you how happy we are to have another child get her. (even if its only for a few months!)
We walked Jack to class-Jack had the same teacher that Savanna had in 3rd grade. Boy- there was going to be one sad boy in our home if he had not gotten her. I kept telling Savanna that we needed to help Jack be excited about whoever the teacher was. Fortunately we did not have to fain excitement- He got who he wanted!

Then I walked back down the same hall where we dropped Luke off and took Savanna to the middle school.
It felt so strange to me this year, not having all 3 in the elementary, but I comforted myself with the very real fact that they are all still so close to each other. (so so close, that Savanna will still be able to walk Luke into school and get him to his class and then go on to hers.)



I am so thankful for my kids school.
So thankful for the district they are in.
Thankful for their teachers.

********
Everyone is asleep.
They all had great days.
Its fun to hear how their days went, and kind of funny how they tell it.
As I tucked Luke and Jack in and asked what was happy and sad about their days they both shared happy thoughts and could not come up with anything sad.
Savanna too had many happy things to say, and was only a little down about math.
I too, had happy and sad moments today.
I cried.
And I smiled.

The last day of summer

No pool time today-
but we still got wet!

Beach Week 2008

For the last few summers, toward the end, right before school starts our family has had "beach week."
This last week was the time for the annual tradition.

And even though we don't live anywhere near a beach, everyone had a great time.

We heard things like:
" we love beach week!"
"this has been such a fun beach week!"
"I love having beach week before back to school!"


Beach week for our family is a shift in thinking.
It's kind of like a feeling.
Its the winding up of the summer. Spending time together as a family relaxing.
Its about making a smooth transition from summer into back to school mode.
It is not about cramming as much as we can into the week before school starts.
I do a mental checklist of all the things that I have wanted to do over the summer.
And if we absolutely can only do it during the summer then we do it.
Otherwise it gets moved to the "want to do with the kids sometime" list.

I always get so sad when its time for the kids to go back to school and this week helps transition me into the new routine.
Oh, it also helps them!

This summer's beach week we:
watched a movie almost every night projected larger than life on our living room wall

we watched:
nim's island
collage road trip
robots
ratouille

we did lots of swimming

went out for snow cones

We also:
had a few friends over

drank soda
had lots of reading and snuggling and
made tents in every room in the house.

Savanna and Jack even got to spend time at work with Dad!

We finished up school supply shopping and planned out each child's morning and after school routines.

And that was beach week.

So much more I could try and say, but hard to come up with the right words to fit the emotions.
It is hard to believe that its time to turn the page ... (translate- its hard for me to believe summer is over!)

Our 2nd trip to Colorado this summer

I had said in this previous post that we took a last minute trip to Colorado ...

It really was a last minute trip.

We found out on Thursday morning that Jay's Grandmother had passed away. She was 96 years old.
We decided on Friday morning at 8 during breakfast that we would drive to Colorado to be with Jay's family and attend the funeral.

At that time Jay said he would like to leave by 9:30. I knew that it would be a stretch for us to be leaving close to that time. We left the house around 10:20 and stopped by the library. Then had to make a trip back home.

That is when Jay said it would only take the equivalent of 700 or so more trips to the library and we would be in Colorado. Then we had to stop by Target, then Sams. Finally at 1:15 we actually started the drive.
I thought we were doing pretty good, considering it was a last minute trip, and all the things we were able to squeeze into the morning!



We were able to stay in the same home as the last trip to Colorado.
Again, so much service was given to Jay's family during this time.
And so many people were coming in from out of town.

I wrote this in my paper journal:
"It was a wonderful trip from Friday to Tuesday. There were so many re-connections with people we have met/known and so many new faces.

We saw so much service to all of the Spear family. People just stopping by and doing things.
Rolls, deli meat & cheese and chips from one family ... rolls and cookies from a friend ... broccoli salad and pita bread sandwiches from another friend.

More cookies.
Countless visits from friends.
It was wonderful to watch all the acts of service."

Seeing all the service gave me insight of what I can do for others in similar situations. Every last bit of food was eaten. When you have a funeral there are so many details to attend to, and in this case a lot of out of town guests. Food preparation gets kind of lost in the shuffle. Having the food ready and available to eat was such a blessing.

It was amazing to me to watch everyone interact. There were many people I had never met, and some only one time before. At first there was a little stiffness as everyone got reacquainted. But by Sunday it was fun to watch everyone together ... like no time had passed or, that everyone had known each other much longer. Of course, our kids took to the others right away.

Luke started right up with a nice "campfire" and got a few 2nd cousins in on the game of "indians dancing around the campfire."

Tucker played with whoever he could. He warmed up to everyone.

Tucker with 2nd cousin Adon (sp)

The kitchen was a busy place.

Savanna and 2nd cousin Rachel

They had a great time (as did all the kids) playing in the backyard up in the trees.

Tucker chumming it up with another 2nd cousin.

You want some?

We were able to spend Saturday and Sunday being with family and just hanging out at Jay's parents.

The funeral was on Monday.

It was a beautiful day. I am so grateful for the experiences we had.
The funeral service was nice.
Beautiful music, beautiful words spoken.

I was out in the hall with Tucker for a bit of it - walking and eating goldfish crackers.

After the funeral at the church there was a nice gathering outside while friends visited and talked with Jay's family. There was such a peacefulness about the day. She had lived a long life. This was not an untimely death. She was reunited with her husband after 36 years. Along with many other family members.

There was no funeral procession to the cemetery which was nice because we were all able to just go over at our own pace. Our family was the first one to get there, and we let the kids run to find Jay's sister's marker. It was kind of like a game. This cemetery is just beautiful. Rolling hills, many trees.

The kids found it pretty quick, and picked out the song on the back.

Luke made quick work of using his imagination that he was on a horse.

The rest of the family started arriving so we walked over to where Jay's grandparents marker is.
Jay had joked that it was a stones throw away- well it was a little more than that, but pretty close.

I loved the shot of everyone holding hands.

After the prayer we walked back over to Suzannes spot and visited with the family some more.

Tucker always having ready access to his belly button.

Tender moments of Jay's dad saying goodbye- for now.

We headed back to the church for a wonderful lunch. Jay's Aunt brought beautiful haiku that his Grandparents had written. She gave everyone copies that she had found with both of his Grandparents signatures. Then it was back to Jay's parents for more visiting and saying goodbyes.

Luke had this cute cousin playing Lois, (any guess to who he was?) and she was so fun to play along.








When we left Colorado in July we had no idea we would all be together so very soon. We were so grateful to be able to go and that our car ran well.

Jay shared video with everyone of a visit that he and his brothers and dad had taken to visit Videtta during our trip out in July just a few weeks before her death. They all felt so fortunate to have been able to make the visit and for the stories that were shared ... for the smiles and laughter.

This is the poem that was on the back of the program, that she and Wendall had written.

Eyes and ears dimming
Life's turbulance hushed,
Gentled almost night-
Then light!