Swing Low- Sweet Chariot

One of the songs that we sang to Nana, and that she had asked to have sung at her funeral is
Swing Low Sweet Chariot.

"I looked over Jordan, and what did I see?
Coming for to carry me home,
A band of angels coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home."

The band of angels came to carry her home.
She is reunited and attending a great family reunion. Back with her husband. With her parents, and siblings.

"If you get there before I do,
Coming for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends I’m coming, too.
Coming for to carry me home."

We will all join her too someday.

"I’m sometimes up and sometimes down,
Coming for to carry me home,
But still my soul feels heavenly bound,
Coming for to carry me home."

It is sad for her to go, and sad to say goodbye. Sad to watch my Mother, lose her Mother.
I know where to seek strength, and know that this is but a passing on to the next life.

"The brightest day that I can say,
Coming for to carry me home,
When Jesus washed my sins away,
Coming for to carry me home."

I rely on the Savior, Jesus Christ to comfort and heal. He not only suffered for sins, but sorrows and hurts. He is the One to lean on and to seek.

Thank you for you kind words, your prayers and your love.
It means much to me and my family.

Going to Edmond

Tuesday afternoon my niece Addie said to her Grandmother, "Did you know that Heavenly Father and Jesus live in Edmond?" To which her Grandmother replied, "Do you mean Heaven?"

Addie exclaimed with a hand brought to her forehead,"Oh yea, Heaven."

That same day my Mom called and told me that Nana's time here on earth was coming to an end. She wanted to give me the opportunity to come and sit with her. So I did.

Jay was home and stayed with Luke and Tucker while I went to visit Nana before it was time to pick up Savanna and Jack. Nana was asleep and I sat and held her hand. It was just me and my mom at the time, and it was peaceful.

Before I left I sang to her and told her I would come back. I left and took care of the needful things for my family and went back over until about 7. It was starting to feel like a family reunion at her home. Lots of hugs and how are you's. I missed my camera!

I went home and tucked kids in bed, and climbed in myself. I felt emotional, and tired, and sick.
I got a call around 9:30 P.M. from my sister Janelle. She said that Nana was more responsive and they just wanted me to know in case I wanted to come back over. So I did. She was in and out while I was there, but knew who I was. I stayed and helped my mom care for her, but also was able to visit with cousins and my sisters. It truly was a fun get together. We reached a point that most of us needed sleep so we left.

Wednesday morning I rushed around trying to catch up. From being sick, from being gone visiting. I made food for my family to be prepared for dinner and some to take over to Nana's house for anyone that needed it. Something about cooking food for others made me feel like I was helping, and accomplishing something.

I picked up Luke and headed back to Nana's to drop off the food and to give more hugs. What a blessing this day was. Nothing was planned, but everything went like it was. I was able to have heartfelt talks with my mom while Janelle played on the porch with Tucker, and Luke ran around in the front yard.

I saw my brother. I was able to hold Nana's hands some more. I helped my mom and brother make Nana more comfortable in her bed. I sat on the porch with Janelle and then Jennifer and reminisced about the sounds of my grandparents home. And how different this feels than when Grandaddy passed away. His death was sudden. This is slow. And knowing this is the end of our Grandparents life here on earth, and the end of just going by our Grandparents home has an emotion all of its own. So many emotions I have felt and am processing.

I left once again, to pick up kids and care for my family with plans of returning in the evening.
The evening was as much of a blessing as the day. It ended up just being both of my sisters and my mom. We sang songs- some funny, some serious, some downright silly, some emotional, some spiritual. We held Nana's hands. I was grateful for the time. Grateful that the kids were home and taken care of.

Now for today. Today has had its trials. I am tired. I am getting better from being sick, but its taking its sweet time. I did get to see Nana again today and sit with her. My children are now home for a 3 day weekend, and I am so glad for the time I had the last few days to visit with family, and to sit with Nana.

The time is now short until Nana goes to Edmond. It makes me chuckle just thinking of her going on a little car drive- a little trip- to Edmond.

point and sick (I mean click)

Along with not having a camera I have been sick. So not only no photos to post with, but no energy either. 

Jay has been incredible- he has gone above and beyond to take care of things here, and, AND he helped me get a camera! I had started saving last Monday, just days before my camera broke, to get a new one. I wanted to get a grown up camera and then take a class on how to use it, and how to take photos. 

So when my camera broke I knew that I would be putting my money towards a point and shoot that I could just capture every day. But I was sick. Not even a gift card plus great coupons, plus a really good sale at bath and body could get me to go shopping. AND it just seemed overwhelming to me to go shop for a camera. 

So he took care of it. He took my money and then made up the difference. What a guy-he came home last night with a cute little red camera that fits right in my pocket. So now I am learning how to use it and will be back with more photos than I have time to share.

Not a moment too soon. Lots of Halloween get ups to be documented. Kids dressing up in the same thing that siblings had in years passed. Kids changing their minds the day before Halloween. And me being fine with it.

two and 1 month

Tucker, one month ago this weekend you turned two.
At two you:

• Love love love your belly button- always needing your jammies unzipped so you can get to it

• You are not loving wearing one-piece outfits anymore because it seriously impairs you reaching your belly button.

• You love getting dressed in the morning including your shoes-and on the subject of shoes, you want everyone else to have a pair on also- and if we take them off it makes you antsy.
  

• You love to sing, and lead the music, no matter where it is coming from. At church, in the car, at our morning devotional, you la la la, and lead the music.

• You seem to favor boys, more than girls. If given the choice between mom or dad, you will choose dad. Or if in nursery at church (when you go in!) if there is a dad you will go sit with him instead of the moms that are in there.

• You are speaking a few more words, and a lot of sounds. You sign a few things also.

• You say "back" when you don't want me to come near what you are doing and hold up your hand like a stop sign- (like if you are into mischief!)

• You say "mmmhmm" in agreement.

• You say "tay" for O.K.
  

• You say "OH" two different ways. One "Oh" is long as in "oh I get it" when we tell you something or show you something or when we are explaining something to you. The other is a quick "Oh." when he hears us talking and he wants to let us know he is a part of the conversation.

• You say "uh huh" in two different tones. One is in agreement when we ask you something. The other is very emphatic and is said when you see something you want. You exclaim it like we have just asked you a question and you are giving an absolute positive answer!
  

• You hold your utensils just like an adult, and still switch from left to right, and don't seem to favor one or the other. We really wonder if you will be left handed like your brothers and dad.

• You LOVE trains.

• You now play with toys, and seem interested in them for more than a minute. Your favorites are the trains, and anything under Luke or Jack's bed.

• You love to help with whatever we are doing.

• You think that you can do whatever Jack, or Luke are doing. If they are riding bikes, then you are. If they are on their skateboards, then you are. If they are playing out back then you are.

• You like to take things apart.

• You know what you want to wear, and pick things out. You definitely have an opinion.

• You now like to read books. For the longest time you did not like to sit and look at them by yourself, or listen to us read them, but now you do. Ahhh, we love it!

• You love babies, and talking sweetly to them.

• You like to put your hands in your pockets.

• You say everyone in the families name, you pray for each one by name, you call out for each one in your cute voice when you want them.

• You think toots are funny.

• You have nicknames: Tuck, T Tucker Wallace, T, Turkey, Tuckish, are a few.

• You bring so much Joy to everyone here.

I have edited this, and will continue to, as I hear you say things that are so "two-for-you" over the next few days.

mischief monday

Today I was reminded of something that Tucker did a while back. Today as he was carrying the toaster out of the kitchen and heading for the bathroom (where he could get to an outlet) I remembered how he had done the same with a handheld mixer. But he was younger. I can't remember when it was ... (anyone help me out-remember me telling this?) He made it into the bathroom and plugged the mixer in and TURNED IT ON! I had no idea until I heard the whirring of the mixer.

can't have one without the other

My camera is broken.
And apparently I need to practice writing without photos.
It is kind of like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Who wants just a peanut butter sandwich? Or just a jelly sandwich?
I just find it hard to write without the photos.
Because I have no camera ...
I have not written about the gigantic box and all the packing peanuts that kept Luke and Tucker busy for hours.
Or about how that same box and packing peanuts kept Luke (and me!) busy cleaning it up.
Or about the fantastic be-lated birthday/early-Christmas present that was inside that gigantic box.
Or about how much I love this present and want to display it now.
Or about Jack and how he won a ribbon for most original pet in the pet parade. (apparently there is a plus side to only owning fish!)
Or how Jack dressed up as Paul Revere for a book report and then used the same costume for a party that night.
Or how Jay so wonderfully and creatively spent an evening in making Jack a musket to go with the Paul Revere costume.
Or how wonderful it is to have light in my kitchen, and how I feel like I am in the spotlight on my own stage.
Or all the things we have been doing for red ribbon week at school.
Or my SPT's.
I guess I could always go back and write about what I do have photos of. Like Disneyland. You know that was 5 months ago. I could write about that. I should write about that.
Hmmm- my mind is now thinking of all the photos that don't have their story told. Oh-my.

What to eat Wednesday- Dad's Taco soup

This recipe came from my dad, but I most recently had it at my mom's. The story goes that my dad had been in a car accident and had not eaten in several days. My Aunt Barbara brought him this soup and he ate 5 bowls. I have had it in my recipe book but have not ever made it.
Last week my mom had us over and made this soup. It was so yummy. Perfect for fall. A very easy one to throw together. I loved all the beans in it. All the different kinds.

1 1/2 pounds beef or turkey
2 onions
4 garlic cloves diced
4 sticks celery

1 can beef broth or 2 cups water and bouillon
1 packet ranch dressing
1 packet taco seasoning

Cans-
pinto
kidney
navy
garbanzo
corn
small can chopped chilies
3 cans diced tomatoes

Brown meat and then add everything. Simmer and serve.

So tonight I made it for dinner. I was bugged about my camera being broken. The lighting was perfect. In my state of being bugged (and in my state of half cooking, half cleaning up the house) I misread the recipe. As we were eating this I kept thinking- this does not taste anything like mom's did. Hers tasted so much better. (cue my moms laughter) I went back and looked at the recipe. I messed up. I put 3 cans of the chilies, no tomatoes and no garbanzo beans. Goodness.
I will take pics the next time I make it. That is once I get a camera. And when the lighting is good.

Class Pets

Jack got to bring home the class pet a few weekends ago, and was so so excited!

A guinne pig! Her name is Cotton Lilly.

We all remembered when Savanna was in 3rd grade, same teacher and got to bring it home. Luke was 3 at the time and he kept calling her Cottnin Lilly. So this weekend that is what we kept calling her.
Tucker was squeeling with delight and got the sound down pat of a guinnie pig.
Now when we go into the class to see Jack, or drop something off he giggles and says hiss, hiss,(the pigs house) and points to it and wants it back inside its cage.

Then last weekend over the 4 day fall break he got to bring home the class SNAKE! (I did not manage to get a picture of this!)
It was tiny. But still it was a snake.
I wonder what other class pets we will get to enjoy ... It is fun for the kids, and relieves a little of the guilt that I have for us not having a pet.
The kids get to pretend for weekends at a time that they have pets!

playlist of my life

I am listening to and it reminds me of:

The theme song of THE OFFICE- the year Tucker was born, and how he would bounce to the rhythm of the beat while nursing. We chuckled that when he heard the song, that it would trigger him to think it was time to nurse.

spt-#14 of 100

Lelly's challenge for the month of October is here-

Last week was #7 this week is #14

so number fourteen of my "I love list" is:
being a mother

How do I write about this. I think being a mother is the hardest, most challenging, balancing act- and every day is a different story. Things are constantly changing. What works one day does not always work the next. And with that, what works with one child won't necessarily work with the next.


But being a mother is consistently one of the best things that I have been allowed to experience in this life.
I have always loved "mothering"- I watched other mothers children for as long as I can remember. I had families that I would regularly babysit for, and would choose to do that instead of hanging out with friends. That is what lead me to Colorado where I met Jay.

I have always wanted to be a mom, and have children of my own.
I bought box after box full of baby and toddler clothes before I ever was married. (I was in highschool when I started. Working at a childrens store helped with that!)

Before I met Jay I was told by the Lord to always be preparing to be a mother. Not to be prepared, but preparing. That means to me I have to keep working at it. It is not something that I figure out and check off my list and have done. I will always be a mother. It does not end. Even when these children grow up and are gone. My role as a mother will change, but I will always be their mother.
And I think of that often. I have to be preparing always. There is so much to learn that I don't know. There is so much to prepare for.

And every day I am given another day to start over, and to keep going.

I could write so much more. The ups, the downs. How my idea of being a "a good mother" has changed over the last 12 years. How I will always want to mother. How I will always want to bring others into my home to mother. How I wonder what mothering older children will be like. How funny it is to mother such age ranges at the same time. But what I really want to write is that I love it. I love being a mother.

"there is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one."

What to eat Wednesday-Allyson's Blitz Bread

Two weeks ago today Allyson gave me this recipe. She said that she had made the best bread, and that we should try it.
WOW! 7 loaves of bread later, and our family loves it. No crying, just begging for more. Wanting it in their lunch. Every single one loves to dip it into olive oil and balsamic vinegar.


1 1/2 cups warm water
3 TB olive oil (plus additional for drizzling and dipping)
1 1/4 tsp salt
3 1/2 cups flour
1 TB instant yeast
3 tsp herb medley (plus additional for sprinkling on top)
I have used basil or a mix of Italian Herbs
coarse salt for sprinkling on top
optional: 1 cup fetta

Lightly grease a 9" x 13" pan and drizzle 1 -2 TB olive oil in the bottom.
Combine all of the ingredients except for the sprinkling of herbs, coarse salt and fetta.
Beat at high speed with an electric mixer for 60 seconds.
Optional- to make cheese stuffed bread: Add 1 cup crumbled feta cheese and just blend into the dough until it is mixed in.
Scoop the sticky batter into the prepared pan, cover the pan, and let it rise at room temperature for 60 minutes, until it is puffy.
While the dough is rising, preheat the oven to 375.
After the dough has risen, gently poke the dough all over with your index finger.
Drizzle it lightly with olive oil, and sprinkle with the dried herbs and course salt.
Bake the bread until it's golden brown, 35-40 minutes.
Remove it from the oven, wait 5 minutes, then turn it out of the pan onto a rack. Serve warm or at room temperature.
Excellent dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Friday date day -It's the weekend!

Friday afternoon I met up with Jay downtown for a fast take out lunch. We sat outside by a fountain while we ate then we went to the museum of art.
This weekend was the end of the the art from the Louvre.

We entered in right at the same time as about 4 schools of elementary children on field trips.
This is where it is so good to have jay's perspective on life. he gave a big smile and commented on how great it was that all these kids were getting to see this, and how some might be bothered that there was extra noise, but that it did not bother him. He saw it as a sign of life, and others enjoying art, and possibly being influenced by him. So on that note we set out to see as much as we could in 1 hour.
It was a whirlwind look, and a little overwhelming. Trying to grasp the timeline of when these were found, and then thinking of how old they could possibly be, and then thinking that here they are in a state barely (2oo years old-oops, you know me and numbers) I mean 100. I loved seeing the hairdo's on the women, and Jay felt inspired to sculpt again.
We left much to soon, but we are so thankful for Jay's employment, that we thought it would be a good idea for him to go back to work.
What happened next is something that I dream about, but rarely get.
I had a little over 2 hours ALONE.
My mom had kept the boys while we went to lunch and just said to come get them after I picked up the big kids.

AHHH- I did so much- So many stores I want to go to , but don't because of time, or children or both. I got a drink that I did not have to share. I smiled. I sang loud in the car. I browsed at my own pace (which is pretty quick.)What I looked at while I was driving around- made me smile

I felt refreshed.
I picked up the kids and we had plans to stay at my moms for the evening for one of our long-over-due date night at Nan's, but plans changed. So back home we went, and had a wonderful impromptu candlelight dinner with the family. Yummy bread dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Broccoli stuffed pasta shells. YUM-Tasty.


A date with my love.
A date alone.
A date with the family.
A great start to the weekend.

*Edited- I added the link to the the bread and the pasta shells

Mischief Monday

Yesterday I got to go with Jay to speak in another ward. He sat up on the stand and I sat with the kids before it was time to speak. Savanna had helped in packing a little entertainment bag for Tucker,(and Luke) she filled it with fun little things, stickers, crayons, a stuffed animal, some beads, a bandaid, and a few other odd things. Tucker went through the bag pretty quick. Soon it was time for me to speak, and Jay and I traded spots.
I was doing fine, until I looked down at my outline and something green and shiny caught my eye. I kind of gasped when I realized I had 4 shamrock stickers shimmering randomly across my chest. I chuckled right there, and commented that I just noticed that my son had decorated my shirt before I got up.
After we spoke 2 people came up and said they did not even notice the shamrocks, and then 2 others said they were glad I explained what the stickers were.
Funny.
Thanks for the laugh Tucker, and the distraction. I think it helped take the edge off my nerves.

SPT- #7 of 100

self-portrait-tuesday
she-photographs-on-tuesday
or in this case Thursday!

Lelly's challenge for the month of October-
"i think october is a great month to spend some time with yourself. i know many of us are already hyperventilating about the rush from All Hallow's Eve through New Year's Eve. this is the perfect opportunity to get yourself mentally, physically and spiritually prepared for the upcoming holiday *madness.*

this month, we will consult our 100 lists. it's quite simple, really. on the 7th of the month (TOMORROW) post an spt about item #7 on your list. on the 14th of the month, post an spt about item #14. and so on. and so on.

don't have a list? why don't you start one? it seems like a daunting task, you say? well, if you work up to #7 this week, #14 next week, etc., your list will be more than a quarter of the way finished by the end of the month!"

So here I go-
About 2 1/2 years ago I started a things I love list,



and things I don't list.


So that is what I am using.
I started typing up the loves, and this is #7.



#7. kids out of tub wrapped in a towel

This has to be in my top 10 of best things ever. I love giving my kids baths. From the moment they are born- I want them to have one every night. I just love the calming soothing feelings of the water. And how totally yummy they smell afterward. I love snuggling them up in a fluffy towel and squeezing them up all tight as I carry them into their rooms to get lotion and jammies. I love picking up their towels afterward and how the delicious scent of bathtime is still lingering on it.

Now that 3 of my kids bathtimes don't follow up with me scooping them up in a towel I still try and sneak a big-bear-hug-like-squeeze before they get dried and changed on their own. I still love to smell their towels. And since 3 of my kids bathtimes don't involve me so much, I treasure these times with #4.

Go here to see others #7-

I will update this post when I find pics of the first 3 in their towels (when they were little.) You know that was so long ago. Like before we had a digital camera.

What to eat Wednesday- Whipped Cream

Two weeks ago Luke helped me in making the whipped cream for Tucker's birthday cake. As we were adding the ingredients I mentioned to Luke that this could be his first recipe in his very own cookbook.

He thought a cook book of his own sounded like a great idea. We talked about all the ingredients and how to whip it all up, and like magic it turned into whipped cream.

So last week we finally made him a book. He picked out the paper and we glued it all on.


Then he set right to work writing his very first recipe from memory. I thought he did a great job. So good that I thought I would share it for What to eat Wednesday.


Follow the directions below. Do not leave out step #5- I think that it is the most important of the whole recipe.

Here is the original recipe from my mother in law- I think it tastes best on one of her pies. She is THE PIEMAKER! (and hooray, I get to have one this Thanksgiving!)


Whipped Cream
1/2 pint heavy whipping cream
2 Tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla

Freeze deep bowl & beaters. (don't have to, makes it go faster) the
deeper the bowl the better-more deep than wide.
Beat on high until almost thick- soft peaks. Add sugar & vanilla, mix
just enough to hold shape, don't overbeat, or it will be hard to spread,
flat, and not pretty.

conference thoughts

This weekend was conference. I have mentally been preparing for it so that I would be in the right frame of mind. That I would be able to let go mentally of things around me that were undone, and be able to feast upon the words. To have us all be together as a family and listen and enjoy it. I felt like I had pretty good expectations and had made peace with how things were with our family for last conference. And all the preparations were worth it. It was a wonderful weekend. The talks were very specific to my needs, more than once. We were able to stream the video live (over the internet-then watched through the TV) for most of Saturday's session and then we just listened to the audio on Sunday.
Tonight for our Family Night we talked about what each person remembered from the conference.
I was amazed at what everyone came away from the weekend with.

Jack- The story about the table and how the man cut it in half and shared it with other people.


Savanna- President Uchtdorf's talk about the train station and his mother could not find them and how worried she was. And- the talk about how once your willing to try, you can. Its easier because its something you want . (It reminded her about learning to ride a bike.)

Luke- President Uchtdorf said the word agency on Saturday

Me- Elder Bednar spoke about morning prayer being the spiritual creation of our day-
President Uchtdorf's talk on creating-
and the talk on being unified and enjoying the journey now.


Jay- Elder Bednar's talk also
and President Uchtdorf's talk- stand close together and lift where you stand.


After we all talked about what we remembered, we set a family goal of something that we took from the conference to work on for the next 6 months. Then each one of us set a personal goal.


I am truly grateful for our children. The goals they came up with on their own were sincere and thoughtful and beyond their years. I am thankful for their example. I am thankful that they help Jay and I keep our heads on straight.
(so funny that they can do that, and also make us think we are losing our minds!)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tucker has been waking up too early. About 1 1/2 hours too early.
He is so tired mid moring- He could use a nap, but I am not ready for him to go down just yet.
Today after a earlier lunch he went out back to play. I propped open the back door so I could hear him. I went out once to look for him and could not find him. I heard a soft "Mom" and found him under here.
About 10 minutes later I went back to check on him and this is what I found.
Asleep.

And he stayed asleep for over 2 hours!

What to eat Wednesday- Banana Bread

When I moved to Colorado I lived with a family and helped take care of their little boy and little girl during the day while the mom was at school. This banana bread recipe came from her. I love it warm out of the oven with butter. When I make it, it totally takes me back to living in Colorado. Living in a place with mountains. The cool air. The 3 o'clock showers. And the little people I helped take care of and their sweet little voices.


1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup butter
3 T sour cream/yogurt
2 C flour
1 tsp soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
3 large mashed bananas
1/2 C nuts optional

grease bottom only of pan
Bake for 1 hour at 350-

I did it

I moved quickly on the earth today. I pushed past 2 miles in 30 minutes. That is big for me. Like really big. I am documenting it. That way I can encourage myself tomorrow and the next day at the 20 minute mark when all I want to do is stop. I will think-
You can do this. You did it before and you can do it again.