Thursday, October 16, 2008

spt-#14 of 100

Lelly's challenge for the month of October is here-

Last week was #7 this week is #14

so number fourteen of my "I love list" is:
being a mother

How do I write about this. I think being a mother is the hardest, most challenging, balancing act- and every day is a different story. Things are constantly changing. What works one day does not always work the next. And with that, what works with one child won't necessarily work with the next.

But being a mother is consistently one of the best things that I have been allowed to experience in this life.
I have always loved "mothering"- I watched other mothers children for as long as I can remember. I had families that I would regularly babysit for, and would choose to do that instead of hanging out with friends. That is what lead me to Colorado where I met Jay.

I have always wanted to be a mom, and have children of my own.
I bought box after box full of baby and toddler clothes before I ever was married. (I was in highschool when I started. Working at a childrens store helped with that!)

Before I met Jay I was told by the Lord to always be preparing to be a mother. Not to be prepared, but preparing. That means to me I have to keep working at it. It is not something that I figure out and check off my list and have done. I will always be a mother. It does not end. Even when these children grow up and are gone. My role as a mother will change, but I will always be their mother.
And I think of that often. I have to be preparing always. There is so much to learn that I don't know. There is so much to prepare for.

And every day I am given another day to start over, and to keep going.

I could write so much more. The ups, the downs. How my idea of being a "a good mother" has changed over the last 12 years. How I will always want to mother. How I will always want to bring others into my home to mother. How I wonder what mothering older children will be like. How funny it is to mother such age ranges at the same time. But what I really want to write is that I love it. I love being a mother.
"there is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one."


Meghan said...

I too love being a mother. I was never a baby person and didn't really every want to babysit and didn't grow up dreaming of the day I would be a mom. But I always knew I would. Wow! It is more amazing than I could imagine. I find so much fulfillment in caring for them, teaching them, feeding them and watching them learn to care teach and feed themsleves. I can't imagine doing anything else. Which is great because I don't want to do anything else.

Kim Sue said...

preparing...I love that because it reminds me that it is a process in motion.

lelly said...

"and every day i am given another day to start over..." i love this, and need to remind myself of it. often.