This I Believe: His Sacred Name - An Easter Declaration

Sunday July 6-peace & blessings

I wrote this on Sunday in my journal after church- I have been waiting to share a lot of what is here until there were more answers, but now feels like the right time.

We came out to Colorado to be together as a family, the Spear family. Parents, Grandparents, brothers, sisters-in-law, cousins.
We were able to receive such sweet time together, service and to experience a break in time.
A certain blessing for the family.

The day we left California from our adventure 2008, we received a call saying Jay's dad was in the hospital. He had been having seizures and nobody was really sure exactly what was wrong.
His condition worsened over a few short days.
Our family was still driving back to OK and we were packing up to leave our hotel.
I was feeling a little overwhelmed for so many reasons.
Overwhelmed at the uncertainty of Jay's dads health.
Overwhelmed at watching Jay deal with his emotions.
Overwhelmed with what to tell the kids.
Overwhelmed with feeling so helpless, not being there to help.

I walked out of our hotel and was talking to my mom on the phone.
I was telling her how worried I was, and how I felt so sad for Jay and the rest of the family.
I hung up the phone and turned away from our car and something caught my eye in the tree.
I walked closer and felt a warm feeling come over me-
A heart.
A beautiful wooden heart.
I was instantly reminded of our Saviors love, and where to turn for peace and comfort.
How Christ heals our hurts and our sadness, not just our wrong doings.

I felt blessed to have this reminder.
Where to turn for peace-
Matthew 11:27-30

Over the last month as tests have been done, and more questions raised the outpouring of love and service to Jay's family has been huge.
They have been carried through- each moment that Carolyn (Jay's mom) feels she can't go on, there is someone there to lighten the load.

We came into town not certain of how Jay's dad would be. And while he seems to be doing ok- there is so much unknown.
We feel certainly blessed to have spent the time that we have.
Time has paused for a moment this weekend.
Love has been shared.
Time well spent.

So many have given of their time to help Carolyn still carry out her normal work, take care of John and still have an open house!
The dentist that she works for cleared his home and family out to change the open house from Jay's parents home to theirs! And then took care of letting everyone know that there had been a change.
Food was prepared and served by so many. (and not just for the open house, but while we were there visiting!)
Setting and cleaning up for the open house.
Even cleaning Carolyn's house to help her get ready for company!
Sleeping arrangements were made for all of us coming in from out of town, and homes were opened up to us.
Not only was every detail taken care of to make this a wonderful open house for Paul and Mary, but for our family to all come together.

While the future seems uncertain for John, as they still are trying to diagnose him we feel so much peace.
Peace given to us from the savior and carried out by the service of others.
This weekend was a blessing.

what do I know

I read a question last week that went like this...
what do you know that you know that you know?
Kind of have to read it slowly, to really understand that sentence, huh?

Immediately a scripture came to my mind, but only key words...rock, redeemer, Christ, foundation...And I kept saying them over and over, until I finally figured out which scripture it was.
From the Book of Mormon..
Helaman 5 :12

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

And what do you know...but it also has a song to go with it! (love that) This song is our "family song"-

How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
Who unto the Savior, for refuge have fled?

In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home or abroad, on the land, or the sea,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

E'en down to old age, all my people shall prove
My sov'reign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when gray hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I cannot desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

There are many things that I thought I have known.
And then it becomes all to apparent that I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking.
Like parenting. I used to have so many answers, and ideas. But those thoughts and ideas are continually being "debunked"- as we have had more children, and they grow- and they don't fit into the cookie cutter mold.

But this has stayed constant, this one thing I do know. Christ as the foundation.

There will be horrible things in this life. And a lot of them will not be because of our own doing. We will have pain. Even when we are doing all that we "should" be doing. Life can be hard. Life can be disappointing at times. Sometimes things just seem sad. Not the way we had "planned" for life to be.

Where do we turn, what do we build upon?

Who do we lean on?

When life seems unbearable and we are stripped down to the basic things, we can have a sure foundation to weather the storms of life. He is constant, HE is always there, HE will support the deepest troubles.

This I know.

all is calm, all is bright

The end of Christmas day that started out oh so early.
Everyone is in bed, the house feels so calm.
There was snow today, and so the light at night seems extra bright shining through the window.

I have been thoughtful today of those that are lonely, or whose hearts are broken.
For those who feel in despair, and have sadness.
For those that this Christmas just does not feel like Christmas.
For those who feel lost.

My sincere prayer tonight is for calmness to come to their hearts. That in the stillness, they will feel the love of our Savior. That they will have a feeling of peace, and the hope of a brighter day. I pray that the greatest gift, love, will be felt in their hearts.




Merry Christmas.