Monday, December 29, 2008

The rest of the story

I have good memories of listening to Paul Harvey on the radio in my parents room on their bed. I would be in that just waking up too-tired-to-be-up but too-awake-to-go-back-to-sleep mode. I loved the sound of Paul Harvey's voice and hearing him say "and now you know the rest of the story."

Well tonight I want to give the rest of the story. After we spoke in church today, I had a man say- "well we all know who Luke is now (the 5 year old), we sure don't know what all the fuss was about, but he sure gets a lot of attention." I had to stifle my laugh and say, "yes he sure does get a lot of attention."

Our Bishop had asked all the kids to speak with Jay and I. It was not my idea. Yesterday we told Luke he did not have to speak. The Bishop wanted him to but we said he only should do it if he wanted to. He started to play that game of I want to/ don't want to. We gently but firmly told him to make a decision and stick to it. And that when it was time to give the talk we would not have any of the back and forth I am going to do it/no I am not going to do it games.

Everything was great. Everyone was prepared. We made it to church early enough to get on the stand before the Bishop made it up there. We all sat nicely through the first 30 minutes of the meeting without a sound from the oldest 3, and only a few sounds from Tucker.

Then it came time for Luke to speak. He had his paper clutched in his hand. He stood up and walked up to the podium. He started to speak and then froze. He turned to me so I stood next to him. He whispered "I am scared." I told him it was alright, and that if he did not want to do it, it would be alright. He wanted to, but just could not get the words out. He whispered, "I think I would like to go oldest to youngest."
I got Luke to sit down, and motioned for Jack to go ahead. He did great. A wonderful perspective from a 9 year old.

All the while Luke is whimpering about being scared. I am trying to comfort him, and listen to my other children at the same time and help Jay with Tucker. All while sitting in front of the congregation.
Savanna gets up to speak. I am feeling so thankful for these children who teach me. She does great.
Luke is still whining about being scared, but maybe he could try and get up.

Its my turn. I get up. I ignore everything that is going on behind me. Only once do I feel Tucker by my side. I cry. I feel. I hope I expressed what I was trying to say in a coherent way. Its done. i sit down.
Its time to sing a song. We stand. I try and ignore Luke kicking my leg or grabbing my fingers. He stands up and whispers to Jay and I- "I am ready, I can do it."

Jay and I look at each other and say OK. We knew he was truly scared and wanted to give him this chance to do it again. He had his paper clutched tightly all ready to go. As soon as the song ended he started up out of his seat. I held him back and whispered that we he had to wait for just a minute. The Bishop was going to get up and say the order of the rest of the meeting. Then he could go.


I did not factor in the Bishop adding another spur of the moment speaker before Dad.

As soon as the words left the Bishop's mouth, I could see where we were headed. The Bishop turned to sit down, and once again I gently held Luke back and explained that one more person needed to get up and speak for a minute. He could not understand. HE was supposed to be next. We had told him. He could not understand, just wait another minute and you can do it. He could only understand that things were not going the way he had planned.

The tears ... the disappointment. Then the anger. The wadding up of the paper. The trying to kick Mom.
Jay took Luke out. And I followed with Tucker. I knew I had to go be with Luke so that Jay could get back in and speak. A kind man came and offered to take one child. I gave him Tucker. Luke was crying the whole time saying "I just want to do it. I just want to do it." I explained that he had to calm down. I wanted to let him have another chance. But do we try it again?

Luke calmed down.

We did decide to try again. Jay, Luke and I made it back in and we walked back up to the stand. Luke walked right up to the podium and read his talk. Jay stood right behind him to help in case he decided to bolt. He did great. He was calm. He finished and came and sat down next to me. He was so happy that he had done it. I was happy for him.

Then he announces he has to go to the bathroom. So out we go again.

We take care of business and then head back into the chapel. But this time I don't take Luke back up to the stand. We go sit on the back row. I felt we had made enough trips back and forth. But Luke really wanted to go back up. And I mean REALLY wanted to go back up.

I know I saw Jay standing up. But I never heard him speak. I was too busy with Luke. We were then in and out of the back of the chapel another 5 times.

Yes sir. Luke does get a lot of attention.

And now you know the rest of the story.


Kimallsup said...

I thought you all did such a great job! I loved that Luke took a deep breath then held your hand. What a brave little guy!

hillary said...

Don't tell my Bishop, but I haven't spoken in church since I was 17 and the youth speaker. DON'T TELL!

I would have loved to be there and hear all your words and help with the kiddos. I'm going to miss you my whole life. hill

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Oh.....I'm so glad you wrote this down. How often do you get to hear the mom's step-by-step thoughts like this. I'm so glad you captured it.

I loved this paragraph "Its my turn. I get up. I ignore everything that is going on behind me. Only once do I feel Tucker by my side. I cry. I feel. I hope I expressed what I was trying to say in a coherent way. Its done. i sit down."

Meghan said...

I wish I could have been there to hear your family.

Kaleen said...

Luke is SO blessed to have such a wonderful mom. You are amazing!
Yesterday sitting in church I opened up the program and saw Youth Speaker- Kiel Lambson - AHHH panic! He had forgot, but my brave little man went up to the stand, after passing sacrament, and bore his testimony. Amazing!! Our boys were blessed with strong spirits. Keep up the good work Alisa!

shara said...

I read this post outloud to the girls- twice. they really enjoyed all of your talks. "We love Luke"; "Jake is wonderful! 'Life is like a video game but you only die once' I love his voice and the way he emphasized things!"; "Savannah just oozes wisdom, she is like a little Hermione Granger"; "I loved Sister Spear's talk. I really connected"; "I can't remember much of Brother Spear's talk and that's wierd. I usually LOVE hearing him talk. I think I was still thinking about Luke". (Sorry Jay).

My heart crummpled as well when you wrote about Luke crumpling up his paper. I am so glad he was able to give his talk and I am so sorry I missed all of the talks!

shara said...

I meant to type JACK. Really. Sorry!

Bren's Life said...

What a great memory this will always be for the family. Man- I thought we had it bad just the 2 of us talking. I can not imagine my kids talking. My 11 yr old would refuse & the girls oh yeah. No way!
What a wonderful family you have.

Tara said...

You all did so good. I love hearing your family talk... They are all so sweet. Thanks for sharing!

Rebecca said...

This sounds about like my sacrament meeting every week...except without the giving talks part. I leave church every week with two thoughts:
I have (half-jokingly) told him that when he gets released, I plan on sitting up in the choir seats ALONE for the next 5 years! : )

jarrleckie said...

I bet you were so exhausted when it was all over! Sorry I missed it. Glad it all came together by the end!