After Jay and I were first married and we had moved to Utah, I was asked to help with the children's music on Sunday's in Primary. Primary is the organization in our church for kids ages 3-12.
I was terrified. I cried every Sunday. I was always so so nervous. I would get up and quietly whisper what we were going to sing, and then timidly wave my arm, and try and get my voice above a squeak. I stood very still hoping that I would not be noticed.
Finally after a few weeks of this, the Primary president pulled me aside and said. "Alisa, you just need to smile, and the kids will smile back." I had been feeling so intimidated that I could not even look the kids in the eye and smile. Her comment kind of shook me out of my dreary state and I started to smile, and wouldn't you know I started to enjoy what I was doing. I was still nervous but I could get through a Sunday without crying. Then we decided to move. My last Sunday came and I was saying goodbye and one of the kids came up with the most worried expression and said "but who will sing with us now?" It knocked me down! I felt like I had finally gotten comfortable in my calling- and now I was leaving. It was all over.
I hoped for the opportunity to do it again someday. In our church there are not paid positions. So it was not like I was going to go apply for the job. I tried to apply the same idea of smiling and just doing what needed to be done to other things I was asked to do. But I hoped, and hoped that I would get to do it again.
I was asked a couple of months ago to sub for our primary music leader. I did it for 2 Sundays and LOVED it. I could hardly wait to get to church to sing with these kids. I hinted loudly to anyone who would listen that I would love to do this if they ever needed help again.
Well I get my 2nd chance! I was asked to be the music leader.
One would think that I would not have any worries after having done it before, and wanting to do it so badly again. But I did get just a tiny bit nervous. I started thinking about how I really don't know how to lead music. And how would I come up with ways to keep the kids interested. I started having doubts.
As I was reading over the music book and some other information I came across this and I think it is what qualifies me to be able to do this:
I am so excited!