Nana turns 92

July 22- Nana's birthday
Today she turned 92- I think that I have been saying that she is 92 since Grandaddy passed away.
Not sure why.
She has not been feeling well, and has required a lot of care from my Mom, and her brother and his wife. (my aunt and uncle)
I went over by myself and took a chocolate cupcake (thank you Julie!) for her to blow out a candle with.
As I held the plate to keep it from shaking in her hands I had the strangest thought.
Who will be visiting me on my 92nd birthday?

Nana closed her eyes as she blew out the candle.
And I wondered about her past wishes that she had made as she blew out candles on cakes long gone.

Now her wishes must seem so different-
We visited about her plans. She is planning her funeral. She has a pretty good idea what she wants.
She wants me to sing. She also wants my children to sing.
Just typing that puts a lump in my throat.
She knows where she wants it to be held. After Grandaddy's funeral she felt such a connection with the director and his mother.

(the director handing nana grandaddy's flag-see how she is looking at him?)

When Nana contacted them to plan her funeral, she found out they had moved. And she did not know where to. Just recently she found out they had started their own independent full service funeral home. She was so pleased to talk with the owner. And to tell him that she was coming there.

So now she waits.
I think she wants to die, but is afraid at the same time.
Jay and I will be going over to talk with her about death, and dying. And to reassure her.
And to comfort her.
And in some ways prepare ourselves.

Happy Birthday Nana- Today I hope you can remember who came to visit you, and not who did not come by or call.
I hope that you keep hearing beautiful music in your dreams.