He packs more than goldfish and cheerios

It is no surprise to anyone that getting out the door for church on time can be a struggle for me. I try- and most of the time I do alright. But I usually look down and one of the littles is missing something, like a belt or their shirts are not buttoned. But we are there.

Well this Sunday the youngest decided to bring something extra with him. In my hurried state I did not look to see what he was carrying. I had no idea. But luckily the oldest two did.
Jack said- " Mom, I can't believe you let him bring that in here."
Followed by Savanna saying almost at the exact same time, "Mom, are you sure you want Tucker having that inside?"

I looked down to Tucker's hands to see what the fuss was about.

A gun. In church.
Hmmmmmm.

Sunday thoughts

I decided to take my notes from last night and put them into wordle- I already had an idea of what words would jump out the largest-

the top 10

Lord

Commandments 

Keep 

need

family 

service

people

important

joy 

serve

other thoughts-

There will be storms.

God sends rains to all. Even if we are faithful we sometimes will get wet. 

Each of us needs the Lord's spirit to guide us in all that we do.

Speak with Father in Heaven daily.

Trust and follow promptings.

creatures of habit

Our church building is starting a renovation project that is big enough, and apparently messy enough to be uninhabitable for some time. So we now are going to another building. That we have to drive about 20 minutes to get to.
And our time changed to 2-5. I think I may really like going to church in the afternoon. I was not sure at first. But I am a night person. I am a very very slow mover in the morning. And having church at 2 really fits a night person. I can move slow in the morning. I can get ready at my leisure.
Jay on the other hand goes earlier than we do. The ward that he attends meets at 10. And their meetings prior to church start at 8. And they are meeting in a school. Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself for having to drive farther or think about getting out so late- I think "well it could be worse, I could be meeting at the school."

We were having a chuckle today about what creatures of habit we are. Even at a different building, with a different shaped chapel people still sat in "their spot."
Jay said the same thing. Sitting in chairs in the cafeteria of the school and people were still sitting in "their spot."

Where do you sit? Same place every Sunday?

Call the Sabbath a delight-even on mothers day!

For most of my married and children portion of my life Sunday was my favorite day of the week.

I loved having a "different" day-
A day to rest-
A day for our family to be together-
A day to attend church together-
A day to recharge-
A day I looked forward to-
A day so different from any other-

But the last few years, I have not had that same feeling.

I can't believe I am going to blog this, but ...
I started dreading Sundays.

I would wake up and dread the day ahead.
I would dread the enduring of church with the kids.
I would dread that the children would be grumpy, hungry, and tired after church because they had missed lunch and naps.
I would dread the thought, that I would not even have the smallest inkling of a chance to have a nap.

I told Jay how much I was starting to dread Sundays. How much I strongly disliked them.
I missed the old Sundays. The way they used to feel. How could I get that back?

We talked about what changes we could make.
And you know what?
The only things I could change were me.
While some of our circumstances affect us, for the most part, its how we react.

I don't have any of this down just yet, but ...

I consider this a blessed day.

I realize that there were optimal circumstances that lead to this, but tonight as I was driving home with a smile on my face, the thought popped into my head ...
"I loved today!"

So grateful to have loved a Sabbath day- and that it was Mother's Day!

It beat the last few mothers days hands down.
(last year, Jay gone all day, 1 very grumpy child, 1 child pooping all over me as we walked into church, a very disappointing meeting with no mention of mothers, no children singing- the year previous- a big miscommunication with my mom, and both of us with sad hurt feelings thinking the other did not want to spend any time together on Mothers day- ...)

I know ... I know... I had a lot of outside circumstances to add to the "love" of today.

Jay was home.

But I still had grumpy kids.
They still did not get lunch.
One was sick.

I felt different though.
I think I can use this to help carry me through the next few sundays.

I can make a few changes in me ...
I can still be happy- even when others around me are not.

I am looking forward to making more delightful Sabbaths-
Anyone else want to join me?

sunday thoughts

Choose the Lord first-

- I have been thinking about what I choose-
and how small decisions affect the bigger picture.
Tonight I was reading a talk given in 1988
and these were the thoughts that stood out.


"To love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength is all-consuming and all-encompassing. It is no lukewarm endeavor. It is total commitment of our very being—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—to a love of the Lord."
"When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities."

"We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives."
"God loves us; the devil hates us. God wants us to have a fulness of joy as He has. The devil wants us to be miserable as he is. God gives us commandments to bless us. The devil would have us break these commandments to curse us."

"Daily, constantly, we choose by our desires, our thoughts, and our actions whether we want to be blessed or cursed, happy or miserable. One of the trials of life is that we do not usually receive immediately the full blessing for righteousness or the full cursing for wickedness. That it will come is certain, but ofttimes there is a waiting period that occurs, as was the case with Job and Joseph."

"The great test of life is obedience to God."

"The great task of life is to learn the will of the Lord and then do it."

"The great commandment of life is, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength” (Mark 12:30)."

Sunday thoughts

I finally attended church for the first time in over a month.
It was one of those mornings that would have been so much easier to stay home.
I was passing Jay in the hall and I said- "I am getting to church no matter what"- and he laughed.
I told him that I was serious- last week Tucker was sick, the week before that was Savanna, then there was conference ... So it was march, when I last attended.

I got there.

Made it through Sacrament meeting with the three while Jay took Tucker out .
(ahhh thank you- it was nice having you there)

Went to Primary and a little girl came to me kind of grumpy like and said,
"I did not want to come today-"
and I said "I know what you mean, but we are where we are supposed to be."

She kind of looked around, then leaned in a little closer and said, "I don't like the song we are singing either."
And I said, "that's alright, its ok to not like every song. You don't have to like it."

Then she put her hand in mine, and we shook.
Almost like she was making a pact.
She had made her peace- and then she went and sat back down.

It was so interesting for me to think about this little exchange.

Sometimes I don't "like" what I need to do.
But I need to do it anyway.
And only after, do I receive the blessings.

I wondered how this little girl felt later on.
Did she feel better, by the end of church?
Did we sing any songs that she did like?

Perspective & challenges

I have had things weighing on my mind- big things/little things.
There have been people I know who have had children die from illness, or die shortly after birth.
Friends who are struggling with their children, and their behavior.
Financial struggles. Life decisions struggles. Not being able to have children struggles. Not being married struggles. Hardship. Loneliness. Grief.

Tonight I was talking with our daughter- and she was feeling so sad. She felt pain for a friend.
She said-
"You know when you feel bad about something and you are upset, and you hear that someone is having something so much bigger than you are. It makes me feel like a whiny baby. Do you know what I mean?"

Yes dear that is perspective. It can change your thinking quickly. It's what causes you to have compassion for others. It's realizing that there is more to life than just yourself.

**********

Today Jay spoke in church about challenges and opportunities.
(we did not get to hear him, but he shared it with us this afternoon)

Here are a few thoughts that stood out to me that I want to record:

"I got to thinking that opportunities and challenges really are the same thing. They depend only on your perspective."

"we repent, we serve, we sacrifice, we learn, we teach, and we overcome.
...all these things are for your experience...
indeed our whole purpose in coming here is progression, growth, learning, (opportunities and challenges)"

"life is filled with both challenges and opportunities
all life experiences are best faced with a big picture point of view
gained and maintained through the spirit of God
and through faith, repentance and a continued commitment to your baptismal
covenants you can face anything life throws you and when it is behind
you ... you will see it for what it was.

In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.
Albert Einstein

Holiday

Heard this morning:
"can we just have this count as Mothers day or your birthday?"

We all slept in. (waking up past 7 counts as sleeping in)
Everyone woke up on their own.
Tucker slept!
(he slept for the second time in his whole 18 months of life, a solid nights sleep-11 straight hours)
Everyone woke relatively happy.
Went to bed with clean sheets and got up to a clean house and clean towels.
Had a delicious pancake breakfast made by the pancake maker himself!
We have the whole day ahead of us, to watch conference, to rest, to nap, to eat yummy food.

Maybe what was so great about this was that it was unexpected. No unmet expectations ... it exceeded my expectations.

I will hang on to the feelings of this morning ... for all the other normal Sunday mornings we experience.

Fast Sunday

My mom has told me that that when I was little, my dad said something about fasting, or being finished with his fast and I said "go fast again Daddy"-

Today was "Fast Sunday" for our ward - at the risk of sounding like I shouldn't
I am going to share this...

It has been a really really long time since I have fasted. It's been over two years with being pregnant and nursing. Two months ago, I kind of eased into it. I think that yesterday I started a little too early- it was the equivalent of going three meals instead of two; which was too much for me - I got a migraine and got really sick. So lesson learned ... don't go longer than you can go - do what is needful. It is not OK to get sick and cause myself to be a burden on my family!

What I really wanted to write about was the little thoughts and realizations that I had along the way-
We have a missionary in our ward who has a hurt knee- so bad that he may have to go home. We were fasting as a ward for his recovery. I was thoughtful about his circumstances, and had been prayerful.
BUT- I could not get my mind off of food- every time I passed the kitchen I wanted to put hand to mouth, out of habit. As I prepared the kid's dinner, I wanted to taste a little of this or a little of that. Lick the knife. (yes I know, bad example) After I got the kids to bed, I wanted to have a little "treat" from "MY" chocolate stash. And then same thing this morning, as I prepared things for the kids breakfast and snack before church, and put together our dinner in the crockpot.
It was such a habit for me to put hand to mouth, without another thought-
and boy was this painful.

How much extra am I consuming in a day?

I reminded myself that I was choosing to fast, and I had this thought-
I don't have to fast, I choose to do it. I am choosing to go without food right now.

Then this thought-
The pain, the ache, the withdrawing, are the same feelings that I encounter spiritually when I "choose" to not partake from the word of God daily. When I am not having my personal time in prayer and scripture study, my spirit aches.

There are times when I go along and I am on track ... and then something happens:
A change in schedule, kids get sick, whatever- I let my personal study go. I have to keep working at it for it to happen. (This is the same with our family devotionals by the way.)

So I looked up fasting on the internet and found some funny and insightful things. Then I found an article from 2001 that impacted me. I know that I had read this and probably heard it spoken before. But it touched me in a way that I had not felt before.

I printed it, and took it with me to church. I wanted to share what he taught, and record my thoughts- It's called:
"The Law of the Fast" by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

He starts out with the account of a lawyer approaching Christ and asking, "What is the greatest commandment?" And Christ answered, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

(Matthew 22:37-40)

I was wondering what this had to do with fasting, I kept reading.

Elder Wirthlin goes on to say that by fasting we are keeping the two greatest commandments.

I am still trying to make the connection. So I keep reading.

He says if we want our fasting to be more than just going without eating, we need to lift our hearts, our minds and our voices to our Father in Heaven.

He continues to describe how fasting and prayer can help develop courage and confidence. It can strengthen character and build self-restraint and discipline. We mature spiritually and emotionally and we gain a little more control over our worldly appetites and passions.

(Hmm I sure need that apparently!)

Then he continues:
"When we fast, brethren and sisters, we feel hunger. And for a short time, we literally put ourselves in the position of the hungry and the needy. As we do so, we have greater understanding of the deprivations they might feel."

I thought about the discomfort I felt of going this short while without snacking on the dinner preparations. and later on the "after-putting-kids-to-bed-treat."

Again, I kept reading:

"Some look at the overwhelming need in the world and think, What can I do that could possibly make a difference? I will tell you plainly one thing you can do. You can live the law of the fast and contribute a generous fast offering."

I for sure have felt that.

Elder Wirthlin then spoke of how our fast offerings are directly used to bless those in need ... every dollar! And when donations exceed local need they are passed along to help needs elsewhere.

He spoke of traveling the world, and the suffering and need he has seen of "millions of our Heavenly Father's children." And this is where it pierced me...

"Far too many in the world today—thousands upon thousands of families—experience want each day. They hunger. They ache with cold. They suffer from sickness. They grieve for their children. They mourn for the safety of their families. These people are not strangers and foreigners but children of our Heavenly Father. They are our brothers and our sisters. They are “fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God.” (Ephesians 2:19) Their fervent prayers ascend to heaven pleading for respite, for relief from suffering. At this very hour on this very day, some - are praying for the miracle that would allow them to surmount the suffering that surrounds them."

I thought of those I know, that are suffering, who are experiencing grief. I thought of the pain that I feel for them.

He posed the question- how much should we pay in fast offerings?

"Paying a generous fast offering is a measure of our willingness to consecrate ourselves to relieve the suffering of others."

Then he quoted Marion G. Romney
“Be liberal in your giving, that you yourselves may grow. Don’t give just for the benefit of the poor, but give for your own welfare. Give enough so that you can give yourself into the kingdom of God through consecrating of your means and your time."

Then Elder Wirthlin stated the blessings: "Fasting in the proper spirit and in the Lord’s way will energize us spiritually, strengthen our self-discipline, fill our homes with peace, lighten our hearts with joy, fortify us against temptation, prepare us for times of adversity, and open the windows of heaven."

He closed this by answering the questions that I was wondering in the begining about the 2 greatest commandments.

"As we live the law of the fast, we not only draw nearer to God through prayer, but we feed the hungry and care for the poor. Each time we do so, we fulfill both of the great commandments upon which “hang all the law and the prophets.”

I loved what I learned from this. I found it so interesting that I have heard this before, but today it had so much more meaning to me.